all i do is try try try

Its always under or over

Never the right amount

I change myself to fit in 

I say gods a mirror and life has raised me

But the truth is i am nobody but these urges to be on the top

In order to be on the top i push myself but i never move then i move on

Move on to bring other people down

I hate when i win cause its selfish 

But i hate it more when i lose

No amount of beds and blankets can comfort me now

I try my best to make them like me or even to look at me with admiration 

The bars i hit to get their attention but its okay i have been lower

I am so hard on myself i break every time i yell

And the only thing that protects me is what kills me 

I am so soft and brittle if they could see for who i am they'd so shocked 

I will be invisible the way i was all my life

No amount of venting no amount of hugs no amount of blankets can keep you warm

When you have cold feet

-harshita